Why I Feel Guilty When I Complain: A List

This is a reverse psychology rant. For every rant that exists in the universe, there is an anti-rant, and I'm hoping that when they both collide there will be a cosmic explosion and all angst/bitterness/anger/fear/sadness I'm feeling right now will disappear out of existence. Here goes nothing.

• I have no diseases or disorders, and take no medication. No OCD, ADHD, diabetes mellitus... nothing. I think I had an antibiotic, like, once, a long time ago, for an ear infection. Or strep throat. Or something. (You can tell it was really serious.)
• I've never broken a bone.
• I'm not even allergic to anything. Seriously. How many people can say that? How many??
• One of my natural talents is standardized-test-taking.
• I'm homeschooled. That means that, when your teacher finds out that she hates Gulliver's Travels as much as you do, you can change the curriculum mid-school-year.
• My brother. He's not evil, like some brothers. He's not even mean. He's my friend.
• God so loved the world, He gave His only-begotten Son...
• My parents are logical, reasonable people. I mean, I hear some stories from friends about how their parents are, and I'm just like, "Yeeeeaaah, mine are totally sane..." (Most of the time.)
• My dad. My research indicates that, among dads, he is an exceptional specimen. The man works for fun, as far as I can tell. He works. He comes home. He goes outside and chainsaws trees down. He cuts the lawn. He takes truckfuls of garbage to the dump. He builds me wooden nunchuks totally out of the blue. Of course, this does mean that I get pulled from writing and reading and doing fun things to stack wood in the heat/pouring rain/fresh air pretty regularly. I mean, he likes to read the paper, read a book and watch a football game, but he doesn't laze around like I've heard some dads do.
• ...And on a directly related note, we're not poor. I mean, we don't have a car-elevator or anything, but we don't have to worry about food. We can go to Powell's and buy a book when we want to.
• ...And on another semi-related note -- my laptop, commonly referred to as "The Precious". The Precious has an Intel Core i7 CPU. That's right, my friends, that's right. I sort-of-kind-of-not-really didn't tell them how superfluous such power is to the basic word-processing functions for which they were buying me the laptop. ...Buuuut they pretty much knew anyway, and they still bought it for me. <3
• Another of my natural talents is the English language -- an always useful and often fun talent.
• My mom. She shares much of my sense of humor, and is always ready to listen to what I have to say, and always harmonizes when I start singing. 

I'm sure there's more, but I'm tired and I'm going to bed. 

The anti-rant worked. Peaceful and sleepy is all I am now.

Goodnight, internet denizens.

In which I tell you about what's new... and also what's not-so-new. 

- So, today I got my black belt. (In taekwondo, if you haven't read my "About Me".) I've been doing taekwondo for about three years, and I did it. I finally got my black belt. It still hasn't sunk in. Of course, I won't get the belt for another few weeks, because they have to send away for it to Korea. Maybe it'll sink in then.

The test was today, and there were about a hundred poom belts in this medium-sized room with hardwood floors, a stage, and chandeliers. It looked like a ballroom, but we didn't dance. We did forms, board breaking and sparring. And then we clapped for about a thousand hours while every single person was called one-by-one to go up on stage and receive their certificate. I could go on, but this is a headline post.

- Tomorrow's Easter, as you all know. Every year the Younger Brother and I get Easter baskets filled with candy and various knick-knacks, and it just makes Easter morning a happy morning. You can't nurse a dismal mood when you're sorting through a basket of surprise delights.

- I'm looking for a job. I don't want one, but I need one. Probably more on this later.

- I have a piano recital next weekend. I'm doing two pieces: "The Theme from Clair de Lune" and "Hungarian Dance". "The Theme from Clair de Lune" means "the first three pages of Clair de Lune that I made up an ending for, because I couldn't learn the rest fast enough to play at the recital". Sounds a lot better the first way, though. 

Anyway, this last week I didn't tinkle the ivories at all. Not one bit. And then I went to my piano lesson yesterday and played my two pieces as good, if not better, than I had ever played them before. So, I have this theory. I'll practice insanely hard the first part of this week, and then let the piano lie dormant until the day of the recital. Then I'll practice a few times before we actually go to the recital, and then I'll perform. Sort of conserving the music until I really need it, if you will. Sure, it sounds kind of dangerous and risky and might backfire, but hey! What's life without a little risk?

- I've been working hard on The Chaos I Am. (See earlier post New Story if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) I'm trying to get to know Seyf better, but it's slow work.

Incidentally, I made a new cover for TCIA:

Whaddaya think? Would you read a story with this cover?

   

I have to admit I was impressed with myself, and so 

I'm bragging to you guys. =)

My Bookshelf: "The Thief"

THE THIEF

**I made a resolution that the above is going to be the only use of caps lock in this post. I may or may not succeed, but I shall try.**

I first read The Thief a long time ago. And by "a long time ago" I mean maybe last year or the year before. It's the first in a series with (to date) four books in it, by Megan Whalen Turner. I'm posting about it for two reasons:

1)  I just reread it today and I really-really-really want to talk about it, and I don't want to annoy my family

2) The Thief's fanbase is not as big as it should be

The new, cooler cover.

My introduction to The Thief came when I was meandering in the bookstore and I saw a book with a cool cover. It wasn't The Thief. It was actually the fourth book in the series, A Conspiracy of Kings. I didn't know that, however, and the synopsis on the back didn't say that it was the fourth, so I bought it. As I read, I was completely confused but entranced at the same time. I didn't know the backstory to what was going on but I followed the action and I liked and rooted for and understood all the characters as I met them, and I loved it.

Honestly. I am literally getting shivers of excitement as I write this. I want to jump up and down and yell, but I won't because I promised not to use caps lock. Also my mom would think I was dying and come running to my room.

Of course I went to the bookstore again and bought all three of the others, because I knew they were all going to be worth it because A Conspiracy of Kings gave me that much faith in MWT. And that brings me to The Thief itself.

The Thief, as a book, is significantly different than the other three in the series. First of all, it's first-person narrated.* Second, for the other three books you kind of know who everyone is and what is generally going on.** Yeah... not so much of that in The Thief.

Let me explain -- no, there's too much.

Let me sum up.

The lame, older cover.
(The one I have.)

The book is set in a made-up, medieval world with a rather Byzantine flavor to it. Kings, queens and swords are the order of the day. (There are guns, but they're rudimentary.) Anyway, three countries concern us most at this point. There's Attolia, the northernmost, and Sounis, the southernmost. Eddis is a littler country set in the mountains between the two others. These three countries are ruled by a king and two queens, respectively.

Our main character and narrator is Gen***, who is a thief in the King of Sounis's prison. Supporting characters include the Magus, who is a chief adviser and scholar in the service of the King of Sounis, and who wants Gen to steal something for him. Also, there are the Magus's two apprentices and a soldier.

The Thief follows Gen and the other four on their quest to steal the aforementioned "something".

The things I liked about The Thief:

• GEN****. Otherwise known as the "Reigning Epic Trollmaster of First-Person Narrators". As one tumblogger said memorably, "Everybody go home. Pack up your things. All attempts to be this awesome are futile." 

My reaction to Gen's complete and
utter domination and pwnage
of... everything.

I want to say so much more about this -- you have no idea how much self-control I am employing at this moment. You can thank me later, after you read it. READ IT. NOW.

• All the other characters, except the ones you weren't supposed to like. Honestly, most of the named characters in this book have a special place in my heart.

I would go on. I would tell you about every character and what I thought of them. I would discuss every suspicious description that was oh-so-unsuspiciously worded. I would exult over every moment of beauteous cleverness. However, I can't do so without giving away everything. Tragic, I know.

All I can say is GO READ THE BLOODY BOOK. DO IT.

What I didn't like about The Thief:

A beautiful drawing of Gen by DeviantART
user andrielisilien.

You might think that, by my overall reaction to the book, that I would have nothing to say in this section. Not so, my friends, not so!

• The pantheon of gods. The old gods, the new gods, the invaders' gods, the gods' temples, the god stories. THAT is one part of The Thief that I could really live without.

Now I'm going to cheat and talk about what other people have disliked about The Thief. The most common complaint I've heard from any friends and acquaintances and relatives who've read this book is, "Too much description. It was boring." Other things I've heard include, "The whole thing was about their trip, and I didn't even understand the end," and "Gen spent the whole book whining."

Lies, I tell you. Vicious lies.

One warning I will give, though: there is description. It's not Ben-Hur stop-telling-me-about-the-marketplace-already-I-don't-care-about-the-hairstyle-of-every-single-person-in-Jerusalem description, but I'm not going to pretend there isn't any. I don't want to hear whining about the description, so if you're the kind of person who gets bored easily, don't read it.

If, however, you like characters and relationships and picturing a place in your head and wondering what in the world is Gen doing? What does that mean? ...Then FOR GOODNESS SAKES READ THE BOOK.

And if you do, talk to me about it! Please! Read the next three books. I want to laugh about Gen's jokes and exchange favorite quotes and characters and moments and talk about clever writing and Costis and Dite and Sophos with you! XD

*ahem*

Now that I've composed myself... rating time! On a scale of "It was the worst book I ever read" to "I AM NOW A RABID FAN", how would I place The Thief?

Hands down, "I AM NOW A RABID FAN"!

And I will always be a rabid fan.

------

*A Conspiracy of Kings is partially first-person narrated, but in a different way than The Thief.

**Emphasis on "kind of". You never really know what's going on with Gen. Ever.

***Apologies to Gen. I had to use this version of his name to avoid spoilers.

****I have failed. Caps lock overcame me -- I'm sorry. *hangs head in shame*

Guess what. My new retainer prevents me from biting my nails.

Well played, orthodontist. Well played.

New Story.

So... I have this problem.

It's called 'not being able to finish a novel, ever', and I believe it's quite chronic. By the time I got near the end of my first novel (I never finished it), the writing at the beginning was childish and simplistic while the writing at the end was more sophisticated, because I had grown years older. The characters didn't even behave the same at the end as they did at the beginning. It was illogical, inconsistent, stupid, stupid and... stupid. *wince* I wince when I think about it. *wince*

I have approximately 42 novels in the works at this point, and I've just started another one! Yay for me!

Seyf is fighting a war against his older sister. The populous Mekra'ash party wants to make him king, but the powerful Ishraq'ash support his sister; neighboring nations are beginning to choose sides too, and when a prominent criminal organization gets involved, things spiral even further out of control. Seyf's Mekra'ash followers think he can win, but how can he win a war he doesn't even want to fight?  

It's called The Chaos I Am. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep that title yet, but anyway, I made covers, and I'm going to show them to you. Yay for you!

Which cover do you like best? Do you think I should post some of the novel? (Some is already up on my Figment, but I might give you guys a sneak peek*, if you want.)

----

*EDIT: First I accidentally wrote "sneak peak". Those mountain summits can be sneaky sometimes.

/facepalm

- The Younger Brother has an aversion to wetness. Water on the bathroom counter, having wetness on his socks, any kind of wetness. We think it was because, when he was a baby, Mom used to shoot him with water from a spray bottle when he'd scream in the car. Scarred for life.

- I got accepted to American University, and they're like my second-or-third-place choice! So... YAY! So far I'm four for four, just waiting on the most important two to come back! *happy dance*

We'll see if they give me any money. -_-

- On an online forum today, I saw someone complaining that Jesus is a "Mary-Sue".

They were like: Jesus is such a Mary-Sue! He never did anything wrong! Seriously, if anyone could show me anywhere in the Bible where he ever did anything wrong, I'd take it back, but he's such a Mary-Sue!

I was like: Umm... I think your anti-psychotic medication is messing with your logical reasoning, my friend. If Jesus weren't PERFECT, what you say is Mary-Sue-ish, then there wouldn't be any Bible! Jesus wouldn't be the Christ! We wouldn't worship Him! You would have never heard of Him! You see, Jesus isn't perfect because He's a Mary-Sue... He's perfect because He's, um, GOD IN THE FLESH!

...Of course, I didn't post this retort. Number one, because the thread was a really old one that had been necro-bumped. Number two, because this really old post was on like the second page and the thread had six pages. Anyway, even if these two issues hadn't existed, I would have kept my virtual cool and posted without caps-lock, because caps-lock never won any battles. You guys are just the lucky ones who get to hear me yell and rant! 

- In other news, we witnessed a car crash today. Sort of.

Traffic was backed up, and some lady drove off the road at 5 MPH until she got too close to the edge and slid off the cliff. Two trees caught her car, though, so we called 911 and the police/ambulance came. She was fine, but dazed and groggy. Maybe she was drunk or on something, or maybe she was diabetic. Who knows.