My Bookshelf: "The Thief"

THE THIEF

**I made a resolution that the above is going to be the only use of caps lock in this post. I may or may not succeed, but I shall try.**

I first read The Thief a long time ago. And by "a long time ago" I mean maybe last year or the year before. It's the first in a series with (to date) four books in it, by Megan Whalen Turner. I'm posting about it for two reasons:

1)  I just reread it today and I really-really-really want to talk about it, and I don't want to annoy my family

2) The Thief's fanbase is not as big as it should be

The new, cooler cover.

My introduction to The Thief came when I was meandering in the bookstore and I saw a book with a cool cover. It wasn't The Thief. It was actually the fourth book in the series, A Conspiracy of Kings. I didn't know that, however, and the synopsis on the back didn't say that it was the fourth, so I bought it. As I read, I was completely confused but entranced at the same time. I didn't know the backstory to what was going on but I followed the action and I liked and rooted for and understood all the characters as I met them, and I loved it.

Honestly. I am literally getting shivers of excitement as I write this. I want to jump up and down and yell, but I won't because I promised not to use caps lock. Also my mom would think I was dying and come running to my room.

Of course I went to the bookstore again and bought all three of the others, because I knew they were all going to be worth it because A Conspiracy of Kings gave me that much faith in MWT. And that brings me to The Thief itself.

The Thief, as a book, is significantly different than the other three in the series. First of all, it's first-person narrated.* Second, for the other three books you kind of know who everyone is and what is generally going on.** Yeah... not so much of that in The Thief.

Let me explain -- no, there's too much.

Let me sum up.

The lame, older cover.
(The one I have.)

The book is set in a made-up, medieval world with a rather Byzantine flavor to it. Kings, queens and swords are the order of the day. (There are guns, but they're rudimentary.) Anyway, three countries concern us most at this point. There's Attolia, the northernmost, and Sounis, the southernmost. Eddis is a littler country set in the mountains between the two others. These three countries are ruled by a king and two queens, respectively.

Our main character and narrator is Gen***, who is a thief in the King of Sounis's prison. Supporting characters include the Magus, who is a chief adviser and scholar in the service of the King of Sounis, and who wants Gen to steal something for him. Also, there are the Magus's two apprentices and a soldier.

The Thief follows Gen and the other four on their quest to steal the aforementioned "something".

The things I liked about The Thief:

• GEN****. Otherwise known as the "Reigning Epic Trollmaster of First-Person Narrators". As one tumblogger said memorably, "Everybody go home. Pack up your things. All attempts to be this awesome are futile." 

My reaction to Gen's complete and
utter domination and pwnage
of... everything.

I want to say so much more about this -- you have no idea how much self-control I am employing at this moment. You can thank me later, after you read it. READ IT. NOW.

• All the other characters, except the ones you weren't supposed to like. Honestly, most of the named characters in this book have a special place in my heart.

I would go on. I would tell you about every character and what I thought of them. I would discuss every suspicious description that was oh-so-unsuspiciously worded. I would exult over every moment of beauteous cleverness. However, I can't do so without giving away everything. Tragic, I know.

All I can say is GO READ THE BLOODY BOOK. DO IT.

What I didn't like about The Thief:

A beautiful drawing of Gen by DeviantART
user andrielisilien.

You might think that, by my overall reaction to the book, that I would have nothing to say in this section. Not so, my friends, not so!

• The pantheon of gods. The old gods, the new gods, the invaders' gods, the gods' temples, the god stories. THAT is one part of The Thief that I could really live without.

Now I'm going to cheat and talk about what other people have disliked about The Thief. The most common complaint I've heard from any friends and acquaintances and relatives who've read this book is, "Too much description. It was boring." Other things I've heard include, "The whole thing was about their trip, and I didn't even understand the end," and "Gen spent the whole book whining."

Lies, I tell you. Vicious lies.

One warning I will give, though: there is description. It's not Ben-Hur stop-telling-me-about-the-marketplace-already-I-don't-care-about-the-hairstyle-of-every-single-person-in-Jerusalem description, but I'm not going to pretend there isn't any. I don't want to hear whining about the description, so if you're the kind of person who gets bored easily, don't read it.

If, however, you like characters and relationships and picturing a place in your head and wondering what in the world is Gen doing? What does that mean? ...Then FOR GOODNESS SAKES READ THE BOOK.

And if you do, talk to me about it! Please! Read the next three books. I want to laugh about Gen's jokes and exchange favorite quotes and characters and moments and talk about clever writing and Costis and Dite and Sophos with you! XD

*ahem*

Now that I've composed myself... rating time! On a scale of "It was the worst book I ever read" to "I AM NOW A RABID FAN", how would I place The Thief?

Hands down, "I AM NOW A RABID FAN"!

And I will always be a rabid fan.

------

*A Conspiracy of Kings is partially first-person narrated, but in a different way than The Thief.

**Emphasis on "kind of". You never really know what's going on with Gen. Ever.

***Apologies to Gen. I had to use this version of his name to avoid spoilers.

****I have failed. Caps lock overcame me -- I'm sorry. *hangs head in shame*

Guess what. My new retainer prevents me from biting my nails.

Well played, orthodontist. Well played.

New Story.

So... I have this problem.

It's called 'not being able to finish a novel, ever', and I believe it's quite chronic. By the time I got near the end of my first novel (I never finished it), the writing at the beginning was childish and simplistic while the writing at the end was more sophisticated, because I had grown years older. The characters didn't even behave the same at the end as they did at the beginning. It was illogical, inconsistent, stupid, stupid and... stupid. *wince* I wince when I think about it. *wince*

I have approximately 42 novels in the works at this point, and I've just started another one! Yay for me!

Seyf is fighting a war against his older sister. The populous Mekra'ash party wants to make him king, but the powerful Ishraq'ash support his sister; neighboring nations are beginning to choose sides too, and when a prominent criminal organization gets involved, things spiral even further out of control. Seyf's Mekra'ash followers think he can win, but how can he win a war he doesn't even want to fight?  

It's called The Chaos I Am. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep that title yet, but anyway, I made covers, and I'm going to show them to you. Yay for you!

Which cover do you like best? Do you think I should post some of the novel? (Some is already up on my Figment, but I might give you guys a sneak peek*, if you want.)

----

*EDIT: First I accidentally wrote "sneak peak". Those mountain summits can be sneaky sometimes.

/facepalm

- The Younger Brother has an aversion to wetness. Water on the bathroom counter, having wetness on his socks, any kind of wetness. We think it was because, when he was a baby, Mom used to shoot him with water from a spray bottle when he'd scream in the car. Scarred for life.

- I got accepted to American University, and they're like my second-or-third-place choice! So... YAY! So far I'm four for four, just waiting on the most important two to come back! *happy dance*

We'll see if they give me any money. -_-

- On an online forum today, I saw someone complaining that Jesus is a "Mary-Sue".

They were like: Jesus is such a Mary-Sue! He never did anything wrong! Seriously, if anyone could show me anywhere in the Bible where he ever did anything wrong, I'd take it back, but he's such a Mary-Sue!

I was like: Umm... I think your anti-psychotic medication is messing with your logical reasoning, my friend. If Jesus weren't PERFECT, what you say is Mary-Sue-ish, then there wouldn't be any Bible! Jesus wouldn't be the Christ! We wouldn't worship Him! You would have never heard of Him! You see, Jesus isn't perfect because He's a Mary-Sue... He's perfect because He's, um, GOD IN THE FLESH!

...Of course, I didn't post this retort. Number one, because the thread was a really old one that had been necro-bumped. Number two, because this really old post was on like the second page and the thread had six pages. Anyway, even if these two issues hadn't existed, I would have kept my virtual cool and posted without caps-lock, because caps-lock never won any battles. You guys are just the lucky ones who get to hear me yell and rant! 

- In other news, we witnessed a car crash today. Sort of.

Traffic was backed up, and some lady drove off the road at 5 MPH until she got too close to the edge and slid off the cliff. Two trees caught her car, though, so we called 911 and the police/ambulance came. She was fine, but dazed and groggy. Maybe she was drunk or on something, or maybe she was diabetic. Who knows.

Have you guys heard about...

...the ENDER'S GAME MOVIE?!?!

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS LIBERAL USE OF CAPS LOCK.]

I'm assuming you all already know, since I'm usually the last one to know anything, and I know it's coming out in 2013, but still... THERE'S GOING TO BE AN ENDER'S GAME MOVIE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*falls over*

For someone who has spent ten solid minutes staring at the front of my own copy of Ender's Game, this is LIFE-ALTERING NEWS. I mean, the picture on the front of my Ender's Game is, like, one frame, and there's like a hundred and fifty thousand frames in a movie, so that's... so, so, so much fascination, it's not even funny.

Okay, maybe it is funny. I don't know.

Anyway, this is what I've found of the cast:

Ender: The kid from Hugo, which I never saw. Also
Mordred, which may be more important to some of you.
*winkMerlinfanswink*

Petra: That girl from True Grit, which I never saw either.
I can see it. She looks very Petra. 

Um... Graff. Now just try to tell me you aren't
excited. (GRAFF!!)

Bonzo Madrid: Don't know this
kid, but apparently he's from
the Disney Channel??

Valentine: Nim/Kit Kittredge/My Sister's
Keeper, etc.

STOKED. NUFF SAID.

Okay, maybe not. I found one more picture! Look!

It's Bean, Alai and Ender! Just look at them! Feast your
eyes on the beauteous symbolism of this picture! And
look at Bean - he's so short! AAAAAHHHH! *spaz*

You know they took that picture JUST to make people like me freak out.

And it would be rude not to oblige them.

ENDER'S GAME MOVIE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, now nuff said. 

Art Gallery

These are pictures I've made to go with a story, and I'm wondering which one is better.

The white-outline one, or...

...the color/focus one?

Any opinions??

Cranial Microscope: Facebook Fears

...In which I lie down on the metaphorical couch and psychoanalyze myself.

Might as well be comfortable when
I'm psychoanalyzing...

*reclines on plush red couch*

Confession tiiiiiiime!

So... I've come to the long-avoided, rather unpleasant realization that I am a coward. Oh, I may put on a good front. Some people may think I'm stubborn. Some may think I'm original, independent, or unaffected by what others think or say. People who know me better might say I'm quiet, shy, or introverted.

Well, sure. So I'm introverted.

However, I have recently had an experience that drove me to the conclusion that, while I may be introverted, stubborn, etc., all of that stems from the wellspring of fear and doubt that lies at the core of my soul. This experience... well actually it wasn't an experience. I was just doing something and I suddenly saw myself and thought -- Uh, anyway, this whole... thing came about as a result of Facebook.

I do have a Facebook, although I don't utilize it much. My mom's posts dominate my timeline -- I think there's one or two posts there that aren't hers, and they're from my aunt. Pathetic, yes, but that's not the point. Anyway, in a typical getting-on-Facebook, I check my notifications. Then I go to flair and get the three daily points. (Does anyone still use that thing? I like it, anyway.) Then I log out.

Sometimes I "like" something someone has said but that's... rare. I think it's been, like, a year since I actually posted a status. I was thinking about that today when I got on, but it was when I visited the profile of my friend's younger sister that  it happened. I posted something on her wall, since she just turned thirteen like a month ago and just got a Facebook. I hit 'post', and then a crippling wall of doubt hit me.

What if she got a Facebook a long time ago, and all her stuff is dated two hours ago for some random reason? Then this post would just look out of place and stupid...

I think of her like a little sister, but what if she thinks of me as some random weird person who knows her brother? Then this post would be creepy...

What if me posting on her page embarrasses her in front of her friends, since I'm some random person older than her and not exactly known as the coolest of high-schoolers, and she doesn't want to be associated closely with me?

WHAT IF FOR SOME REASON THIS VIRTUAL COMMUNICATION TOTALLY BLOWS UP IN MY FACE LIKE AN ATOMIC BOMB AND I REGRET THE DAY I WAS BORN BECAUSE I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON FACEBOOK?!?!?!

What was the post, you ask? Just some little hi-happy-birthday thing. It was one sentence. ONE SENTENCE. And I deleted it; I couldn't take having it out there.

Then I sat back in my chair and pondered my own pathetic-ness. WITW?! I'm just a person, and she's thirteen, and it's not like she's going to care.

At all.

What now, Facebookers?

To make myself feel better, I posted a picture on my timeline and captioned it. MORE ACTIVITY  THAN HAS BEEN SEEN IN MONTHS! BOOYEAH!

/facepalm

Why? Why would I do this to myself? Why am I such a freak?

That was when I realized: because I'm a coward. 

I don't want to make any mistakes. I don't want to let anyone see inside me, even the tiniest little bit, because I'm afraid they won't like what they see. This is the same reason why I don't like to listen to my own Pandora without headphones. I'm afraid they'll think, "Really? That kind of music?" It's also the same reason why I don't like people to read anything I write, and why this blog is pseudonymously (A unique neologism created just now especially for you guys! Feel special!) written. Only the denizens of the internet are privy to my innermost thoughts, because internet-denizens are too far away (intellectually, emotionally, and metaphorically) to hurt me.

Because of this, you faraway internet-denizens may know me better than most of the people who know me in real life. Certainly better than my Facebook friends, who only see my mom's love when they look at my timeline. But not better than God.

That's the last part of the epiphany I had because, you see, it doesn't matter what people think. Even if they think I'm the most stupid, ugly excuse for a homo sapiens ever to waste the oxygen on our planet, it can't hurt me. All that matters is what God thinks of me, and I'm pretty sure He doesn't care if I say 'hi' to someone on Facebook.

If I spend so much time wondering what people will think of the music I listen to, and it doesn't ever cross my mind to wonder what God would think of it, then something is wrong, for sure. Fo sho. Fo shizzle. Does 'fo sho' have apostrophes after the truncated endings? Fo' sho'? That looks stupid, though...

*ahem*

Anyway, as I was saying, I realized how much I've been measuring my self-worth based on random people's opinions, and how little attention I've been paying to God's. And I've resolved to change that.

I decided to go through my books and throw out ones that wouldn't meet Philippians 4:8 standards, and to also be more careful with my music.

And also, of course, to actually post statuses on Facebook. Sort of desensitizing myself to what people say. Dipping a toe in the oh-so-scary waters of interpersonal disclosure, so to speak.

Really. I am.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

My Bookshelf: "Leviathan"

The last book, actually books, that I read were Scott Westerfield's Leviathan trilogy. Now, for all you lucky people's enjoyment and edification, I am going to tell you my thoughts on the aforementioned books.

Is that Alek or Deryn on
the cover, you ask?
Beats me.

The Younger Brother bought Leviathan when it was first out. He read it, liked it, and put it on his shelf; however, he did not care enough to buy the next two as they came out. The Younger Brother recommended it to me, but for a long time I was like, "Meh, I'll get to it someday."

This last week was that someday.
Even though a week isn't a day.
I had no books to read, so I finally picked up Leviathan and, unlike the Younger Brother, when I start a series I need to finish it. So, I lobbied for a visit to the bookstore and summarily purchased the other two books. That's what's nice about discovering a good series late: you don't have to wait in agonies of suspense for the subsequent books to come out.

For the five of you who haven't read/haven't heard of this widely-dispersed series, I shall give a synopsis.

It's WWI times in a steampunk world. Germany, Austria-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire are Clanker powers -- countries that run on "mechaniks", "electriks" and machines. The most important character is Prince Aleksandar of Hohenberg, who's the son of the Austrian archduke whose assassination by a Serbian starts WWI. In the first few pages, he's awakened from his bed in the dead of night, shoved into a military "walker" and starts running for his life.

Then there are the Darwinists: England, Russia, Italy and most everyone else. Using the principles of the theory of evolution, Darwinist scientists known as "boffins" fabricate all kinds of hybrid "beasties", upon whose mutant backs the Darwinists' empires are built. Our Darwinist friend is Deryn Sharp, a girl who wants to fly. She disguises herself as a boy, Dylan, and (after a bit of an adventure) becomes a midshipman on England's biggest airship, the Leviathan.

As far as the things I liked about the book... well, there were many. The very first thing that leaps to mind is, of course, the drawings! Now I personally am the kind of person who likes a really thick, substantial book. Books the size of Brisingr make me happy. However, I do appreciate good illustrations, and these are certainly good illustrations. Illustrations complete something about a story for me; I am generally not very successful at picturing characters from written descriptions, and all the strange machines and beasties in this book would have been rather confusing to try to imagine without the drawings.

Illustration sample: It's Deryn in a Huxley.
(Sorry -- kind of fuzzy.)

The accents. Deryn is Scottish and I love how the way she talks has its own vocabulary and feel. ("Barking spiders!") The Americans who appear have their own talking pattern too, and Dr. Barlow's speech is unique. The different ways of talking make the story more alive. The author does a good job of being consistent, too, which is sometimes a problem for me in my writing.

The history. I like having historical characters appear in my fiction -- can we say Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica, anyone? That way, whenever I read about them, I feel as if I know them. Since this is alternate history, it only makes sense, and I enjoyed meeting the various historical figures. (I would name them here, except they would be spoilers.)

There's not much to talk about as far as what I didn't like.

Since I put in one of Deryn, it's
only fair to include Alek too.

I'm not much of a picky reader. I'm not going to rail on and on about how girls dressing up as boys is a tired old cliche. I would include a mini-rant about Goliath... but I'm going to restrain myself for the sake of spoilers.

However, one thing I will mention: I don't understand why he mixed WWI and WWII. Why is Churchill waging war against the Kaiser? That's only going to lead to confusion, and it wasn't really necessary.

Anyway, what rating would I give it on a scale of "It was the worst book I ever read" to "I AM NOW A RABID FAN"?

I'd say... "I liked it; it was entertaining and definitely worth the money".

Goodnight!

I'm falling asleep on my keyboard, so I'll finish the setup tomorrow.
Come back later and then maybe you'll see something worthwhile, because it's like a ghost town right now.
Goodnight, denizens of the internet!
*snores*